Dealing with Pornography in Marriage (Part 2)

  1. Research the many resources out there.

 There are countless resources available online to help you find healing and hope. Here are just a few of many examples:

  • Fight the New Drug
  • Addiction Hope
  • Covenant Eyes
  • Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center

Please consult these and other resources. You don’t have to suffer through this alone and seeking out accurate research and information from qualified organizations will help you see that. The more you do to learn about pornography and sex addiction, the more you will see that his problem has nothing to do with you or your insecurities about yourself—it has everything to do with his own issues such as self-worth and confidence. You’ll also learn more about betrayal trauma and the symptoms that spouses of sex addicts experience when they’ve learned of this secret habit. You’ll learn how to recover from the trauma and what you can do to heal.

 Set boundaries.

 If you haven’t already, work with your partner to put effective filters on computers and phones. While this won’t keep him from seeking out pornography, it will still lessen his chances of seeing it and give you greater peace of mind. Think of other boundaries that will help you feel protected and safe. Remember that boundaries are meant to help you feel safer and help protect you from more betrayal trauma and not meant to punish or control your spouse.

Here are some examples of personal boundaries you can set that can help keep you from experiencing those trauma symptoms over and over:

  • I will not let myself think about what my spouse has viewed.
  • I will not have negative thoughts about my body.
  • I will not let myself go into panic/anxiety mode where I feel like I need to constantly check what my spouse is doing.

If you find yourself doing any of these things, set some rules. If you break a boundary, call a sponsor from your support group. Write in your journal five things you’re grateful for. Say a prayer or meditate. Read something inspirational. Go for a walk or play the piano. Do something to help you get back to a state of peace.

If you feel the need to reach out to a trusted friend or relative talk to your spouse first then proceed with caution.

 Working with a counselor can be an excellent and confidential outlet for the spouse of an addict. As previously discussed, a support group can be very helpful in talking about things in a confidential setting. While you may not want to tell anyone, talking to someone about what you’re going through is a good way to find a little relief and comfort. However, the potential for additional damage in discussing the issue with extended family or friends is significant. If done without the knowledge of your spouse, their sense of betrayal might be as great as what you’re feeling.

Plus, there’s the possibility that the friend or family member you’ve told will spread it to other people who will then spread it, and so on. Such discussions often lead to the creation of opposing sides, with husband and wife collecting allies, which can lead to worsening the situation.

That’s why it’s so important to not only ask your spouse about their feelings regarding you reaching out to someone you trust, but to also proceed with caution as you go to this person. Make sure you emphasize how important it is that they know you’re coming to them in confidence. Remember, if there is no one suitable in your circle of friends or family, you can turn to a support group, or clergy, or a professional counselor. It is important that both partners feel safe as they make the journey to recovery.

Many couples have found that a LIFE Marriage Retreat can play an essential role in that journey.

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Why You Should Go to a Marriage Retreat in Texas

LMR9There are marriage retreats all over the world, but LIFE Marriage Retreats’ Texas location—as well as our Sundance and San Diego locations—encourages growth and lasting positive change. If you are unsure about where you want to take a marriage retreat, read this list of reasons why going to one in Texas is the best option.

  1. Southern Hospitality

People in Texas are extremely friendly no matter where you go. You will find the same feeling with LIFE Marriage Retreats, where you are provided with dining, activities, and a comfortable bed and bath suite. The famed southern hospitality will remind you to be kind to everyone, especially your spouse.

  1. Great Food

Texas is known for its delicious food, such as its BBQ, Tex-Mex, Blue Bell ice cream, and iced tea. You will also be able to find cuisines from all over the world. Good food like Texas comfort food puts you at ease and helps you to focus on making your marriage stronger.

  1. Beautiful Scenery

Texas is extremely beautiful, especially at LIFE Marriage Retreats, just 45 miles west of Austin. It is also abundant with wildlife, and the weather is great all year long. During the day you will see endless blue skies, and at night you can spot thousands of bright stars. When you are surrounded by such natural beauty, you will find it is easier to connect with your partner and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

At LIFE Marriage Retreats, we know that you want to find hope in your marriage. Taking time away from your stressful and busy life for a marriage retreat in a beautiful location reminds you that your marriage is important.

If you decide that the LIFE Marriage Retreats’ Texas location is right for you, you will find four days of enlightening private marriage counseling, peaceful reconnection, and a new outlook on your marriage through experiential activities. Choose to make your marriage a priority.

Contact us today to reserve your spot for a marriage retreat at our Texas location.

Rediscover the Magic with LIFE Marriage Retreats

LMR7On your wedding day, you walked down that aisle with a rosy vision of your future together. But somewhere along the way, that vision seemed to get a little lost. Are you and your spouse ready to rediscover the magic you once had?

There are many marriage retreats in San Antonio, but it is important to choose the right one for your marriage. No matter where your relationship is today, it is the perfect place to begin a new journey toward lasting, positive change — LIFE Marriage Retreats can guide the way.

At a LIFE marriage retreat, couples find healing, renewed trust, and the highest level of communication they have ever experienced. Any committed couple looking to take their marriage to a higher level of love, trust, and effectiveness can benefit from a LIFE Training Retreat.

If you’re ready to feel more connected to your partner, develop trust and communication, or simply want to be happier in your relationship, LIFE Marriage Retreats can help.

While all of the Retreats we offer are in beautiful locations, LIFE Marriage Retreats in Texas have a specific ambiance. The lake setting in the Texas Hill Country is more than just a beautiful geographic location. Here, you might take long walks through peaceful woods with your loved one, or spot wildlife among the hills. In a beautiful lake house, you can connect with nature and your spouse.

Retreats are available for small groups or as private one-on-one retreats. The retreat offers a constructive combination of training, private sessions, experiential activities, and free time. To ensure positive group dynamics, as well as maximum personal attention, attendance is limited.

The retreat’s all-inclusive pricing includes private bed and bath suite accommodations, all meals, training, private sessions, all activities, and post-retreat support to ensure lasting, positive change.

You married this person for a reason. Now is the time to make a positive change for your marriage. If you’re looking for marriage retreats in San Antonio, choose LIFE Marriage Retreats.

Reasons Why LIFE Marriage Retreats Work

LMR6A new study reveals startling statistics about divorce in the U.S. According to the Minnesota Population Center, divorce rates are higher than previously imagined among older people. Baby boomers who are on their second or third marriages are divorcing at a high rate. However, “two thirds of divorces can be prevented with education and intervention.”1

Where will you be educated? What intervention will make the difference in your relationship?

LIFE Marriage Retreats—as opposed to other marriage retreats in Dallas, Texas—offers comprehensive marriage retreats to help couples create lasting change and a lifetime of growth.

LIFE helps couples achieve their marriage objectives by being dedicated to these Training Retreat principles:

   •             Time

•             Place

•             Learning

•             Support

•             Commitment

The four-day format provides couples with the focused time needed to reconnect and to begin using the principles and skills being learned. The location and environment are also crucial to fostering an atmosphere where healing occurs, trust grows, and communication flourishes. In our beautiful locations you will experience a sense of harmony and feel peace and connection come into your lives and relationship.

But no matter how beautiful the locale, the couple’s success will depend upon what is being taught and the processes used. Participants will discover, learn, and internalize the principles and skills that define every successful relationship, delivered through the finest curriculum and innovative experiential training techniques that allow the couple to experience and practice the principles and skills on a hands-on level

Plus, LIFE offers ongoing support, first through personal support in private sessions during the retreat, then through post-retreat coaching that helps ensure continued accountability, permanent change, and ongoing relationship growth. The couple’s dedication combined with LIFE’s support leads to a lasting commitment to the relationship in the long-term.

If you are looking for marriage retreats in Dallas, check out LIFE Marriage Retreats close by.



1 Minnesota Population Center