What Is and Isn’t Appropriate When it Comes to Opposite Sex Relationships Outside of Your Marriage (Part 2)
Situations and Circumstances You Need to Be Careful With
While this article is meant to be a guideline for you and your spouse, you both will have to decide what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with. Maybe you’re both okay with certain things that other couples wouldn’t be, and that’s for you two decide together. However, there are some situations you should talk about even if they never happen—it’s always better to be safe than sorry. A few examples might include:
• Hiring a personal trainer of the opposite sex
• Having a business partner of the opposite sex
• Carpooling alone with the opposite sex
Any situation that would involve your spouse spending a significant amount of time alone with a person of the opposite sex is a situation to be wary about. Yes, it’s important to trust your partner and for him to trust you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be careful and protect your marriage. Being too loose or comfortable with things like this in a marriage can often lead to betrayal and destroyed trust.
What To Do When Boundaries Are Crossed
If you find yourself developing feelings for a “friend” of the opposite sex, you better have some boundaries put in place for yourself, like cutting off the friendship, confiding in your spouse about the friendship, and preventing something like this from happening in the future. The sooner you stop things from progressing further, the better off all parties involved will be. As always, if you feel the need to hide what’s going on, it shouldn’t be happening, end of story.
If you have nagging feelings that your spouse might be involved in an inappropriate friendship, bring your feelings out into the open. Talk to your spouse in a way that makes him feel safe enough to be honest about it. Even if a boundary has been crossed, don’t give up on your marriage or lose hope that all is lost and your marriage is over. Start talking about what led you two apart and why this happened in the first place. If the both of you still want to make things work, there’s always hope to reconnect and rekindle your marriage. LIFE Marriage Retreats can help you have those important conversations in a place of safety and healing.