Tips for Dealing With a Tragedy in a Marriage (Part 2)

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  • Find comfort in each other

Please know you are not alone in this. Your spouse is experiencing grief as well. Find comfort in each other and the fact that you’re both feeling heartache. When you experience a tragedy, it can be easy to cut yourself off from those you love and try to cope with things on your own. Why do that when you have someone who can grieve with you? Let yourself feel the comfort your spouse can give you.

Don’t cut yourself off. It is okay, as stated in point one, to grieve in silence and to need space for a time. It is not okay, however, to remain distant for so long that you’re unreachable and that you’re neglecting important relationships in your life. You need to be able to come back to the people you love with a soft heart and a willingness to show empathy and compassion. You need to be able to comfort and be comforted, especially when it comes to your spouse.

  • Recommit yourselves to your marriage.

Even though it may feel as if you’ve lost everything, you haven’t lost your spouse. Dig deep and find the strength to tell yourself that you’ve lost enough and you don’t need to lose your marriage, too. In the midst of sorrow and grief, it’s still possible to make your marriage a priority and to give your spouse time and affection. Don’t neglect what a precious gift your marriage is. Cling to it, cling to your spouse, and cling to the hope that things will get better.

How exactly do you recommit yourself to your marriage? Here are some simple ways to get back on the right track:

  • Plan a date night and make it a non-negotiable weekly event
  • After getting home from work, talk to each other, look one another in the eyes, and ask how the other person is doing
  • Find a new hobby that you can do together—one that you both enjoy

 

  • Set aside a time to truly talk.

Schedule a time to talk about what you’re both going through. If one of you is the type that doesn’t like to talk about things and closes off when there’s a tragedy, this is especially important. You NEED to talk about what just happened so that you can find hope and healing. Talking will bring you closer together and will help you know what stage of grief your spouse is in. It will help you both feel not so alone and it will give your soul a chance to feel a little more peace.

Talking about emotions is hard enough, but add a tragedy to the mix, and talking about how you feel gets even harder. It’s uncomfortable and awkward because you’re incredibly vulnerable when you let someone see what you’re thinking and feeling. Talking also helps you to admit out loud to someone else what you might not be ready to admit to yourself.

That’s why so many couples avoid communicating. And that’s exactly why scheduling a day, time, and place to talk is crucial—it helps you to verbalize what you’re feeling even if you feel uncomfortable doing so. If simply setting aside the time to talk to your spouse is what could keep your marriage from breaking apart, it’s worth the discomfort and potential awkwardness. Don’t let your fear of being vulnerable get in the way of making your marriage into something beautiful.

  • Conclusion

At LIFE Marriage Retreats we work with many couples struggling with the after affects of tragedy who have lost their connection to one another and their marriage. A key to remember as you work through the inevitable challenges and losses in life is that as you lean on and support each other in healthy, you will develop new-found strength and trust in your marriage, and the way forward to new light and happiness.

Sources:

https://marriagemissions.com/dont-allow-tragedies-split-your-marriage-apart/

http://www.heysigmund.com/tragedy-in-relationships/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/96282-10-ways-to-help-your-partner-cope-with-loss

Tips for Dealing With Tragedy in a Marriage (Part 1)

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Tragedy—whatever form it may come in—has a way of bringing those affected closer together or tearing them apart. When it’s a husband and wife dealing with the tragic events, the losses can get even higher if they can’t figure out how to cope together. If you want to be the spouses that cling to each other instead of tear apart, take these tips to heart:

  • Remember that people grieve in different ways.

Whether it’s a death or the loss of a dream or a diagnosis for a serious illness, you and your spouse are going to deal with tragedy differently. One of you may openly cry and want to talk and be held, and the other one may shut off and not show emotion. He may not want to talk right away and instead may want to grieve in silence. Know that it’s OKAY if you grieve differently. Give your spouse the space he needs to figure out how to deal with such a significant loss.

If you’re the one that needs space to figure out your emotions, verbalize that. Don’t leave your spouse wondering why you’re so closed off and silent. Simply tell him that this is how you grieve and that you need some time to think and internalize things before doing a big talk. If you’re the spouse that wants to talk and be held and you feel like your partner isn’t there to listen, verbalize that, too. Tell him you need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on, even if he doesn’t say anything. A listening ear is often the most comfort during a hard time.

  • Look for the silver lining.

As hard as it is to feel hope and peace in the midst of a traumatic event, it is possible. You can still find some good in your life even when you feel like you’re in the depths of despair. Here are some examples of things that can help lift that often-paralyzing sadness:

  • A smile, hug, or word of encouragement from someone you love
  • A beautiful sunrise as you walk through a park
  • A happy, healthy distraction from the pain, like a feel-good movie or an uplifting book or a night out with a friend
  • A list you’ve written of all the things you’re grateful for in your life at this very moment
  • A healthy outlet—painting, music, exercising, gardening, etc.
  • A conscious plan of how you are going to personally move to higher and happier ground and keep your marriage strong through this challenging time

Don’t let yourself fall so deep into the hole of grief that you can’t seem to find a reason to crawl out. If you are feeling this way, reach out to your spouse and communicate what you’re feeling. It may be worth it to go to a counselor or a therapist who can help you deal with the heart-wrenching emotions you’re experiencing. Don’t think that you’re somehow crazy or weak if you need to see a counselor. In fact, it takes incredible strength to seek out help.

(End of Part 1)

https://www.heysigmund.com/tragedy-in-relationships/

5 Signs There is Hope for Your Marriage

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Often conflict in marriage can leave you feeling like there is no hope. Read this infographic detailing 5 signs there is hope for your marriage.

5-Signs-There-is-Hope-for-Your-Marriage-infographic

5 Reasons a Couples Retreat Will Save Your Relationship

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Retreats for couples can save your marriage. Find out why in this infographic 5-Reasons-a-couples-retreat-will-save-your-realtionship-infographic

Why You Should Go to a Marriage Retreat in Texas

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LMR9There are marriage retreats all over the world, but LIFE Marriage Retreats’ Texas location—as well as our Sundance and San Diego locations—encourages growth and lasting positive change. If you are unsure about where you want to take a marriage retreat, read this list of reasons why going to one in Texas is the best option.

  1. Southern Hospitality

People in Texas are extremely friendly no matter where you go. You will find the same feeling with LIFE Marriage Retreats, where you are provided with dining, activities, and a comfortable bed and bath suite. The famed southern hospitality will remind you to be kind to everyone, especially your spouse.

  1. Great Food

Texas is known for its delicious food, such as its BBQ, Tex-Mex, Blue Bell ice cream, and iced tea. You will also be able to find cuisines from all over the world. Good food like Texas comfort food puts you at ease and helps you to focus on making your marriage stronger.

  1. Beautiful Scenery

Texas is extremely beautiful, especially at LIFE Marriage Retreats, just 45 miles west of Austin. It is also abundant with wildlife, and the weather is great all year long. During the day you will see endless blue skies, and at night you can spot thousands of bright stars. When you are surrounded by such natural beauty, you will find it is easier to connect with your partner and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

At LIFE Marriage Retreats, we know that you want to find hope in your marriage. Taking time away from your stressful and busy life for a marriage retreat in a beautiful location reminds you that your marriage is important.

If you decide that the LIFE Marriage Retreats’ Texas location is right for you, you will find four days of enlightening private marriage counseling, peaceful reconnection, and a new outlook on your marriage through experiential activities. Choose to make your marriage a priority.

Contact us today to reserve your spot for a marriage retreat at our Texas location.

Learning to Validate and Support

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LMR8At a LIFE couples retreat you learn to love your spouse better. Two of the best ways to show love to your spouse and create a healthy relationship is to validate and support them.

Validating and supporting does not necessarily mean agreeing with or conceding to him or her, but it does mean trying to understand why your partner feels and acts a certain way.

Validation is often verbally communicated. For example, if you have just arrived late and your partner is upset, you should verbally admit that you were late, apologize, and recognize his or her anxiety or feelings about the situation. This shows that you care about your partner’s feelings and time.

Physically, validation can be communicated through intimacy or a reassuring touch. Repeatedly rejecting your partner’s physical advances actually affects you chemically, causing distancing and sometimes resentment. Instead, validate your partner’s physical needs and presence by responding happily and encouraging your physical connection.

Support has similar verbal and physical cues that make a big difference. Frequently tell your partner how much his or her efforts mean to you, congratulate accomplishments, and stand up for him or her in front of family or friends.

To physically show support you might hold hands in distressing (or normal) situations. You might also keep a hand on your partner’s back or arm while in public.

All relationships require encouragement and time to make progress. And like anything worth having, good marriages don’t just happen.

When you attend a LIFE small group Marriage Retreat or a LIFE private Marriage Retreat you will learn skills like validation and support to grow in your marriage. A couples retreat is one of many marriage retreat ideas that can rekindle romance and interest in your marriage.

Even if you think there is little hope for your marriage, you can find lasting change, peace, and growth that will help you and your partner feel accepted and worthy of trust, love, loyalty, and time. Contact us today to schedule a LIFE Marriage Retreat.

The Difference Between a Retreat and a Vacation

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LMR7Depending on your exact definitions of retreats and vacations, a retreat is generally the process of withdrawing from a dangerous situation or place, and a vacation is a time away from something.

The purpose of a marriage retreat is to take you away from a negative marriage situation and make progress toward a better, more fulfilling life with your partner. Marriage retreat ideas range from a weekend away from the kids to a full training retreat. Here are some of the key differences between a vacation and a marriage retreat.

Vacation:

  • Includes time away from normal work and responsibilities.
  • Could be in any location you consider fun or relaxing.
  • May be with other friends or family members, even the kids.
  • Unstructured unless you plan it.
  • Ends when you return home or back to your normal schedule.

Marriage Retreat:

  • Includes time away from work and home to focus on your marriage and your spouse.
  • Usually occurs in a specific location with a counselor or guide.
  • Includes only your spouse.
  • Structured with private counseling sessions, experiential activities, and time to relax.
  • Helps you resolve marital issues and wounds, and leads to a shared vision for the future.
  • The progress you make doesn’t end when you return home.

A marriage retreat can still feel like a vacation because it includes time away from your normal responsibilities and is in a beautiful location, but the rejuvenation and hope you receive is unique to a marriage retreat. Ideas for your next vacation should include a couples retreat from LIFE Marriage Retreats.

Contact us to book a spot at a LIFE Marriage Couples Retreat or a private retreat today, or learn more by calling 877-376-7127.LMR6

Reasons Why LIFE Marriage Retreats Work

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LMR6A new study reveals startling statistics about divorce in the U.S. According to the Minnesota Population Center, divorce rates are higher than previously imagined among older people. Baby boomers who are on their second or third marriages are divorcing at a high rate. However, “two thirds of divorces can be prevented with education and intervention.”1

Where will you be educated? What intervention will make the difference in your relationship?

LIFE Marriage Retreats—as opposed to other marriage retreats in Dallas, Texas—offers comprehensive marriage retreats to help couples create lasting change and a lifetime of growth.

LIFE helps couples achieve their marriage objectives by being dedicated to these Training Retreat principles:

   •             Time

•             Place

•             Learning

•             Support

•             Commitment

The four-day format provides couples with the focused time needed to reconnect and to begin using the principles and skills being learned. The location and environment are also crucial to fostering an atmosphere where healing occurs, trust grows, and communication flourishes. In our beautiful locations you will experience a sense of harmony and feel peace and connection come into your lives and relationship.

But no matter how beautiful the locale, the couple’s success will depend upon what is being taught and the processes used. Participants will discover, learn, and internalize the principles and skills that define every successful relationship, delivered through the finest curriculum and innovative experiential training techniques that allow the couple to experience and practice the principles and skills on a hands-on level

Plus, LIFE offers ongoing support, first through personal support in private sessions during the retreat, then through post-retreat coaching that helps ensure continued accountability, permanent change, and ongoing relationship growth. The couple’s dedication combined with LIFE’s support leads to a lasting commitment to the relationship in the long-term.

If you are looking for marriage retreats in Dallas, check out LIFE Marriage Retreats close by.

 

Resources:

1 Minnesota Population Center http://guidedoc.com/does-marriage-counseling-work-statistics-facts

 

 

5 Steps to a Great Marriage Infographic

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couples-counseling-retreat-life-marriage-retreats

3 Key Factors of Best Marriage Retreats

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3 Key Factors of Best Marriage Retreats

Searching for a marriage retreat that’s right for you can be a challenge; after all, you do have options. To help you on your way to success with your partner, take into account these three key factors of best marriage retreats. 3 factors of best marriage retreats

  1. Location and accommodations: You are planning to spend a few precious days with your spouse without kids, work, or other normal life distractions, so you should choose a location that will enhance the time you have together. Many marriage retreats are held in hotel meeting rooms or similar charmless locations that do nothing to add to the experience you are looking for. Choose a marriage retreat that offers natural beauty and harmony, conducive to learning, healing, and change. Whether you lean towards beaches, mountains, or rolling hills, select the site best for you. And don’t forget about accommodations. The best marriage retreats are all inclusive, so you can focus on your relationship, not on all the details of where to stay and eat. You need to feel comfortable as you work toward a more fulfilling relationship. The best marriage retreats will offer 5 star accommodations no matter where you go.
  2. One-on-one counseling and real progress: Most marriage retreats will have group activities for all of the participating couples at a retreat. The best retreats will work with very small groups and also offer one-on-one private counseling sessions for you and your spouse. Privacy is key as you work through the issues of your relationship. Your counselor should have the experience to guide you toward success and progress in your marriage, at any stage you might be.
  3. Follow-up: Since marriage retreats are considered a concentrated road to success in your marriage, it is important to continue using the tools and strategies you learned when you return home from the retreat. The best marriage retreats offer follow-up support with the counselors with whom you worked at the retreat, helping you to ensure lasting positive growth and change.

There are many wonderful benefits to be found at the best marriage retreats, however, these three factors can help you select the right program and set you on the course for the best possible experience.

LIFE Marriage Retreats offers each of the three key factors of best marriage retreats, including four sublime locations, one-on-one counseling by caring professionals, and a carefully developed AfterCare post-retreat program. Let us guide you in your journey to a better marriage and a happier life together. Contact us or learn more about our marriage retreats on our website.