I recently saw a peace lily that reminded me of a deeply held belief: to experience true peace in our lives we must first have peace in marriage and family relationships.
At our LIFE Marriage Retreats as couples discuss issues of trust in marriage or problems with their marital communication, the ultimate result they are seeking is simply peace. When a person gets caught up in pride, contention, hurt, or disappointment their heart “goes to war” with their partner, and their peace, and the peace of the relationship, is destroyed.
Since everyone is in relationship with fallible humans, a consistent necessity will be your willingness and ability to work through conflict and real issues that confront you and your marriage without sacrificing your peace of heart and mind. Here are a few of the key principles that will help you to face the inevitable storms of life while still maintaining a personal space of calm:
- Speak “Softly.” It is important that we express our thoughts, perspectives, and feelings honestly. It is entirely possible to do so in healthy and appropriate ways that promote safety in the relationship without raising blood pressures.
- Seek first to understand the perspective of your partner, then to calmly help them to understand yours.
- Be accountable and abandon the need to be right, and not only when you are wrong<smile>! An openness to possibilities and the views of others will engender that same sense of openness and relationship humility in them.
- Serve your partner every day. Express your love in many ways, but always remember that service is the greatest expression of love in the universe. True service will help you toward the ideal where the peace and well being of your partner are as important to you as your own.
These and other efforts will build an emotional bank account that even in times of stress and challenge will retain a sufficient positive balance to give us a sense of confidence that we can find healthy resolution of issues and differences. At a LIFE Marriage Retreat we will help you to find balance and inner relationship peace.
Trials and challenges are simply a part of our relationship experience, don’t allow them to significantly erode your internal peace or that of your relationship. Peace in marriage is too precious to squander.