LIFE will soon be releasing a new online course focused on Rescuing Trust. This blog series on trust gives a taste of some areas the course will explore.
At our LIFE Retreats we sometimes ask our couples, “What is the fastest way to build Trust with another person?” This is always a remarkable experience for us because we see a reservoir of wisdom in our couples and receive deep insights into some of the specific things they are struggling with. Here are some of their answers. See if they might be mini-lessons for you:
What Builds Measurable Trust?
- Be Authentic and Honest. Don’t hide behind masks or defensiveness. (Remember, honesty does not have to be impatient or unkind)
- Be Empathetic. Seek to understand, to see more than just your own Perspective.
- Listen with your Heart, as well as your Ears. People can tell the difference.
- Be Accountable for the things you say and do. Step out of justification and defensiveness.
- Be unfailingly respectful
- Be Vulnerable and invite vulnerability. Share your feelings.
- Be Accepting of others (this does not mean we accept negative behavior, but we always accept others as people of worth and value).
- Show Compassion.
- Serve the other person. What a great tool service is to breaking down walls.
- Have an attitude of Selflessness, not self-centeredness.
- Seek to Forgive through times of hurt or disappointment.
Trustworthiness is a way of being
Aren’t those wonderful insights spoken from yearning hearts? As I hear them at Retreat after Retreat I still feel little chills in my spine as good people speak truth brighter than diamonds. As you experience life and marriage deeply you learn that trust comes not so much from a to-do list, but are found in our ways of being, how we are in our hearts.
All of the principles just mentioned can be powerful aids in building relationship trust, and different relationship circumstances might call for specific ones to rise to the top of the list for you, so go back and review them if necessary. We will touch on some of these and others in greater detail in future posts. Next time we will give you a very simple but crucial key to build trust and create measurable and fast positive results in your relationship.