Charity-There is a particular truth that we teach at our Couples Retreats that always creates a significant stir in our couples: Research shows that at any given time in a reasonably happy marriage you will like or admire about 85% of everything about your partner. That means that generally speaking there will be around 15% […]
Fidelity In last weeks post I stated that there are three areas of a relationship that are not open to negotiation in terms of best-efforts always being put forth by both partners. Certainly we are all human and make mistakes, and forgiveness (which will be introduced in the part 3 post of this series) is […]
At our Couples Retreats one of our favorite topics of discussion revolves around the fact that, at least in this lifetime, none of us will ever live with a perfect partner who does and is everything we think they should do and be. This leads to the inescapable conclusion that if we are to remain […]
Change yourself first: Tolerance is a good temporary tool to have in our relationship toolbox, but it is not one we want to constantly depend on over the long haul. White knuckled, teeth gritting tolerance eventually saps our energy and we will likely ultimately collapse under its weight. And even as we are simply tolerating […]
Report from San Diego Couples Retreat: 2/10-13/2010 One thing I have learned about our Couples Retreats is that I can expect to be both a teacher and learner in every situation. As Margo and I work with the couples I can anticipate learning one of the principles or skills of successful relationships a little better. […]
#5- Needs and Service: Filling one-another’s buckets My wife, Margo, taught me a great and simple lesson once. I was in charge of tending Dustin, our eighteen month old son, one afternoon while Margo worked on a project in another part of the house. I was becoming frustrated as Dustin was fussy and crying and […]
#4- Tears of Acknowledgment At our LIFE Couples Retreats we have lots of fun, plenty of excitement, and just the right dose of healthy relaxation. We also experience a few tears. As a couple strives to break loose from the self-imposed prisons that have walled them off from one another, visiting honesty and feelings again […]
3. Accountability is Liberating During a break on the first day of one of our Marriage Trainings I heard the following exchange between a couple (I have edited out the details): Her: “I don’t know why you always do that, you know it makes me angry!” Him: “Well, it’s not like you give me any […]
2. Humility makes all things possible You might be wondering, “What the heck is Neil Diamond doing on a LIFE Marriage Retreat blog?? The guy has two failed marriages to his credit!” Maybe it was his painful failures in marriage that inspired him to pen some of the truest words ever sung for his song, […]
Rule #1- Be Authentic Remember the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” in which a vain and gullible King is tricked into parading in front of his loyal subjects in his birthday suit, believing he is really wearing the latest in high fashion that only the most refined eyes will be able to see? As […]