How long did it take you to realize that your marriage or committed relationship was not going to entirely be a bed of roses? A few months? Or did the honeymoon phase last for a full year? The so-called honeymoon phase is a wonderful time for a couple and helps us create some cherished shared […]
I have shared with many of our couples a bit of what I call “fortune cookie wisdom”. When I was first engaged to my wife I went through a period of doubt. I repeatedly asked myself whether I would be happy with her or if she was right for me. On one particular evening I was […]
Do you want to see an immediate positive change in the dynamics of your relationship? Read on… Have you ever wondered how the early and joyful days of marriage, times filled with hope and anticipation for the future, often turn into a death march toward some sad finish line filled with misery and regret? Numberless […]
A very common bit of advice all of us hear is to be ‘open and honest’ in our marriage relationships, and that if we have any issues or negative feelings we should not delay in expressing them and talking them out. For many people that bit of advice fits well with their natural inclinations and […]
Dallin Oaks has said, “Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. Desires we act upon determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.” Many years ago I found myself at what felt like a dead-end in my life and relationships. My marriage was disconnected and mistrusting; my career felt […]
Martin Seligman, author of “Authentic Happiness,” describes Hedonics as the study of how we feel from moment to moment. Those called hedonists go to extremes actively seeking to experience as many “good” or pleasurable moments as possible while keeping “bad” or painful moments to a minimum. By definition the quality of a hedonistic life can […]
Recently a friend of mine was asked to perform an arrangement written for a clarinet, viola, and the piano, at a public function hundreds of people would be attending. A part of him was thrilled, flattered by the offer. Another part of him, as he put it, sent him “screaming into an inner closet!” You […]
I am going to combine three of the myths into one for this posting: 1. If we have true love then we shouldn’t have to “work” at our marriage; it will simply be a natural process. 2. If our marriage does not have the same hormonal fireworks as our courtship and newlywed […]
Dave Ramsey, the respected financial adviser, often uses this “finances cause most divorces” statistic in his speeches and radio shows. We like Dave Ramsey and sometimes refer couples struggling with finances to his program, but the fact is that he is wrong on this pronouncement. Certainly a case could be made that squabbles about money […]
If you know of the great story, “The Odyssey,” in which Ulysses struggles to find his way home following the Trojan War, you will remember how Ulysses and his crew were lured off course by promises of emotional or sensual delights that turned out to be myths and traps designed to prevent them from reaching […]