Rescuing Trust (part 1)

LIFE Marriage Retreats will soon be releasing an online course dedicated to helping couples suffering from eroding or broken trust to rebuild relationship trust to the very highest levels. In anticipation of that release, we will focus on some crucial elements of trust in this blog in the coming weeks.

Trust Is a Matter of Heart and Brain

The breaking of trust is real and it is serious. We all know how awful it feels. The inclination to trust is in our DNA so when that trust is betrayed we feel it deeply in our heart and our gut, but it starts in our brain where, literally, the neural networks and brain regions associated with trust disengage and shut down.  Areas of the brain that had formerly been associated with positive emotions and acceptance toward the other person are replaced with animosity, suspicion, and resentment. Can you relate to that, no matter what side of the trust equation you might be on? So don’t beat yourself up if you are struggling to trust again or to earn trust back, it’s a process but as you stay committed to it you can begin celebrating small victories almost immediately.

The good news is that as we take steps to restore trust, those brain patterns I mentioned will gradually return to the positive side and healing of the heart will occur.

Trust Can Be Restored!

Some say trust, once broken, can never be restored. While it is best never to break trust, trust can be restored— and often even enhanced, made stronger than it was before the violations of trust occurred. But here is a crucial key: rebuilding trust cannot be a passive experience for either partner in a committed relationship. Any thought that one partner can just sit back and wait for their spouse to “prove” their trustworthiness will leave the relationship short of the marvelous heights to which trust can be restored when both partners are actively engaged in Rescuing Trust.

The truth is, at our core we want to trust! Yes, sometimes fear of being hurt again, or lingering feelings of resentment or neglect can form a wall of ice around our hearts and we might feel stuck and unable to trust. In our LIFE course on trust we talk about dozens of ways to shine a  warm light on your heart and that of your partner that will thaw and heal you, even as your brain relearns to trust and let go of the pain and resentment. While many people do experience overnight miracles, for most it is more of a process to build, or rebuild, lasting trust. But don’t worry, every step of the journey will hold joy as you remain true.

You and your partner were born to be trustworthy, you have that within you! As you grow in your ability to trust and be trusted, every part of your life will be positively impacted. Even your professional life and opportunities to advance in your work will increase; friendships will become more true and supportive; your emotional and physical health will improve, you will discover a deep and satisfying intimacy with your partner, and you will find peace in every aspect of life.

In our next post we will look at how our Thought-Behavior-Emotion cycles play a big role in damaging or restoring trust in our most important relationships.

Three Gifts to Give this Holiday Season

1. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness

Simply put, to forgive is to let go of the negativity caused to you by another person. It does not “let them off the hook” or give them a free pass to continue the negative behavior. However, it does relieve your burden of pain, anger, and resentment. What greater gift to give yourself than forgiveness.

2. Give your spouse the gift of empathy

Believe it or not, the bottom line in communication is that people want to be heard and understood. There is no deeper expression of understanding than to empathize with another person. There is also no more powerful way to strengthen your emotional connection. Nevertheless, we often withhold empathy because it can be scary to open one self up to the emotions felt by another. Don’t hold back. Find out what might be bothering your spouse. Discover his/her feelings, and then give the gift of empathy.

3. Give your relationship the gift of time

Relationships need quality time in order to maintain a strong and healthy connection. With so many obligations pulling us from one place to another, it is no wonder that we tend to spend the least amount of time with the people that matter most. Without dedicating an appropriate amount of time to one another, your sense of connection will be lost and your relationship will suffer. Instead of letting life run away with your marriage, give each other the gift of time. Your connection will strengthen and your love will deepen.

Tips for Dealing With Tragedy in a Marriage (Part 1)

Tragedy—whatever form it may come in—has a way of bringing those affected closer together or tearing them apart. When it’s a husband and wife dealing with the tragic events, the losses can get even higher if they can’t figure out how to cope together. If you want to be the spouses that cling to each other instead of tear apart, take these tips to heart:

  • Remember that people grieve in different ways.

Whether it’s a death or the loss of a dream or a diagnosis for a serious illness, you and your spouse are going to deal with tragedy differently. One of you may openly cry and want to talk and be held, and the other one may shut off and not show emotion. He may not want to talk right away and instead may want to grieve in silence. Know that it’s OKAY if you grieve differently. Give your spouse the space he needs to figure out how to deal with such a significant loss.

If you’re the one that needs space to figure out your emotions, verbalize that. Don’t leave your spouse wondering why you’re so closed off and silent. Simply tell him that this is how you grieve and that you need some time to think and internalize things before doing a big talk. If you’re the spouse that wants to talk and be held and you feel like your partner isn’t there to listen, verbalize that, too. Tell him you need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on, even if he doesn’t say anything. A listening ear is often the most comfort during a hard time.

  • Look for the silver lining.

As hard as it is to feel hope and peace in the midst of a traumatic event, it is possible. You can still find some good in your life even when you feel like you’re in the depths of despair. Here are some examples of things that can help lift that often-paralyzing sadness:

  • A smile, hug, or word of encouragement from someone you love
  • A beautiful sunrise as you walk through a park
  • A happy, healthy distraction from the pain, like a feel-good movie or an uplifting book or a night out with a friend
  • A list you’ve written of all the things you’re grateful for in your life at this very moment
  • A healthy outlet—painting, music, exercising, gardening, etc.
  • A conscious plan of how you are going to personally move to higher and happier ground and keep your marriage strong through this challenging time

Don’t let yourself fall so deep into the hole of grief that you can’t seem to find a reason to crawl out. If you are feeling this way, reach out to your spouse and communicate what you’re feeling. It may be worth it to go to a counselor or a therapist who can help you deal with the heart-wrenching emotions you’re experiencing. Don’t think that you’re somehow crazy or weak if you need to see a counselor. In fact, it takes incredible strength to seek out help.

(End of Part 1)

https://www.heysigmund.com/tragedy-in-relationships/

5 Signs There’s Still Hope for Your Marriage

5 Signs There’s Still Hope for Your Marriageretreats for couples

Perhaps you’re at a point in your marriage where things are hanging by a thread. You’ve heard of the wonderful benefits of attending LIFE retreats for couples, but you’re still wondering if there’s any hope for your marriage. If you and your partner feel this way, don’t despair. There is still hope, and these five signs will show you why:

 

  1.    Neither of you is ready to make things final. Perhaps you have not only contemplated divorce, but also brought it up several times. So why hasn’t it happened yet? Deep down, neither of you is quite ready to make that final decision, and you both know it. The fact that the divorce hasn’t happened yet is reason enough to give you hope.
  2.    You’re both interested in attending a LIFE marriage retreat. If you’re both willing to seek outside help by going to a LIFE couples retreat, that’s a positive sign. A shared interest in participating in something that could save your marriage is certainly a sign there’s still hope.
  3.    There’s still  love left. Even if you and your spouse can only believe that there’s still some love left in your relationship, that’s enough to work with. The smallest bud of love can blossom again if it’s properly nourished. Hold on to that belief of love, no matter how small it may be.
  4.     You both want to find happiness again. Does the thought of being happy together again bring you a sense of strength? Maybe you’re not yet willing to admit it, but more than likely you do want to find happiness with your spouse again. If both of you want this, there’s still hope.
  5.     Both of you are simply looking for hope. The fact that you and your spouse are both looking for hope in your marriage is a sign in and of itself that there is hope. It’s a sign that you don’t want the relationship to end and that you aren’t ready to give up. If you’re both trying to find hope, that’s a good indication there is hope.

Remember to focus your energy on hope, especially if you’re attending one of our LIFE marital retreats. Sometimes couples think the solution is through marriage counseling Colorado Springs offers or marriage counseling Fort Collins offers. However, the best place to find hope for your marriage is at a LIFE marriage retreat. Book a retreat today by calling 877-376-7127 or by visiting lifemarriageretreats.com.

3 Human and Relationship Laws Couples Learn at LIFE Marriage Retreats

3 Human and Relationship Laws Couples Learn at LIFE Marriage Retreatsmarriage counseling coloardo springs

If your marriage is in a place that warrants you searching for marriage counseling Colorado Springs offers, take a minute to reflect what LIFE marriage retreats can offer you. At a LIFE couples retreat, you’ll be taught certain Human and Relationship Principles that, if allowed to govern your marriage, will bring you and your spouse happiness. Here are three of those principles:

1.     Trust and trustworthiness. Being able to trust and be trusted is essential, even vital, in marriage. In fact, integrity, which leads to trust and trustworthiness, is one of the most basic foundations in any relationship. A lack of integrity (keeping secrets, telling lies, having affairs) always leads to broken trust and broken hearts. If you and your spouse are dealing with this absence of truthfulness and trust in your marriage, it is time to do something about it. Fortunately, the marriage counselors at LIFE marriage retreats can teach you how to work through issues of trust and to find mutual trustworthiness once again.

2.     Forgiveness. Another fundamental element of successful marriages is forgiveness. It can be extremely difficult to apologize for something, but it can be even harder to forgive your spouse for doing that something. However, if you refuse to extend forgiveness, the bruises and wounds caused by the hurt won’t heal—they’ll get worse. In order to make your marriage happier and healthier, you must learn to forgive without holding resentment.

3.     Commitment. When two marriage partners are bound to each other by their commitment to stay together, the chances of that marriage lasting are exponentially higher. It takes a resilient, firm commitment from both of you to truly make things work. If one or both of you is lacking the resolve to be committed, things will inevitably start to fall apart. At a LIFE marriage retreat, however, you can learn how to strengthen that resolve to be committed.

Don’t give up hope if your marriage isn’t what you want it to be. By going to LIFE retreats for couples, you can learn more about these Human and Relationship Laws that will strengthen your marriage. Instead of investing in marriage counseling Fort Collins offers, invest in the marital retreats LIFE offers. You will see life-changing results if you come willingly. Book a retreat today by calling 877-376-7127 or by visiting lifemarriageretreats.com.

4 Things You Can Do Every Day to Strengthen Your Marriage

Whether you’re at a point in your marriage where searching for marriage counseling Fort Collins offers is your only hope, or you’re newly married and wanting to build a strong foundation, these four things can help you create a marriage that will make it through those difficult times:

marriage counseling fort collins

1. Exercise. Believe it or not, exercising is an important key to having a healthy marriage. When you exercise, you have more energy, you feel better about yourself, you boost that feel-good serotonin chemical in your brain, and you alleviate stress and tension in your body. Consider walking or biking together for an even stronger positive connection. The results will be more positive emotions to your marriage, you will be more inclined to feel compassion, kindness, and happiness rather than anger, irritation, and despair.
2. Touch. A simple shoulder squeeze, hand on the arm, or caress on the cheek can sometimes speak louder than words when it comes to expressing love. Simple physical touch can go a long way in a marriage because it shows that you’re aware of your spouse and that you’re there for him or her. It’s a reassuring, comforting gesture that many couples forget is important.
3. Talk. Talking is one of the most fundamental and essential elements of strong marriages. However, talking is more than just a one or two-word exchange a day. It’s sitting down, looking each other in the eyes, and genuinely sharing and listening. It’s a way of reconnecting in our busy lives.
4. Be accountable. Take responsibility not only for your actions, but also for how you manifest your emotions. Avoid blaming your spouse for your negative feelings and behaviors. If you want change in your relationship, work to change yourself first. This will be the best way to invite appropriate change from your partner.

If you have been trying these things and your marriage is still struggling don’t give up hope. LIFE marriage retreats are designed specifically for couples that feel like their marriages are hanging on by a thread. Give our retreats for couples a chance by calling 877-376-7127 or by visiting lifemarriageretreats.com and booking a retreat today.

3 Signs Your Marriage Needs a LIFE Marriage Retreat

3 Signs Your Marriage Needs a LIFE Marriage Retreat

 

marriage counseling San AntonioEvery couple will experience challenging times from both internal and external sources. Those times, though painful, will actually make a relationship stronger as the couple works through them in healthy ways.  However, some couples find themselves in the “down” spectrum of the happy scale for long periods of time, unable to rediscover the path to higher and happier ground, and end up searching for marriage counseling San Antonio offers or marriage counseling Las Vegas offers. These couples with unhappy and seemingly crumbling marriages can turn to a LIFE marriage retreat. If you’re not sure if your marriage is a good fit for a Retreat, evaluate if you are experiencing any of the following signs in your relationship:

 

  1.       Damaged or eroded Trust. Trust can be damaged by significant betrayals, whether infidelity or other forms of dishonesty. But couples also experience an erosion of trust over time as busy lives and distractions come between them. This can lead a couple to feel more like roommates than intimate companions, and result in their questioning whether they can really find happiness and fulfillment together. A LIFE marriage retreat will help you both express your deepest feelings and work through the difficult issue to become united again.
  2.       Lack of healthy and effective Communication.  Dwindling and/or damaging communication is almost always both a cause and result of a struggling relationship. It becomes difficult for partners to understand one another’s perspective and communication often ends up a fight to be right. At a LIFE Marriage Retreat you will communicate at the highest level at which you have ever communicated. You will build a foundation made up of the principles and skills that define every successful marriage, and will feel safety and respect as you discover the healthiest solutions to heal your relationship.
  3.       Serious, damaging effects from addiction. If you or your spouse is suffering from an addiction that has not been treated or overcome, the effects on the addict and the spouse are heartbreaking. There are no words for the turmoil that addiction causes in a marriage and family. Come to a LIFE marriage retreat to learn how healing, strength, and redemption can be found even in the case of addiction.

 

If you relate to even one of these three signs, it’s time to seriously consider attending a LIFE couples retreat. Instead of looking for marriage counseling San Antonio offers, book a retreat with us at our Texas Hill Country location. With the help of a LIFE marriage retreat, you can find peace and happiness in your marriage once again. Book a retreat today by calling (877) 376-7127 or by visiting lifemarriageretreats.com.

3 Reasons to Attend a LIFE Marriage Retreat

marriage retreat3 Reasons to Attend a LIFE Marriage Retreat

A LIFE marriage retreat is a four-day journey toward positive growth in your relationship with your spouse. It’s meant to help you find hope and healing in a marriage that is barely surviving, whether from severe addictions, broken trust, or an inability to communicate and solve problems. Couples who are experiencing the damaging effects of contention-causing issues in their marriages should attend a LIFE marriage retreat for the following reasons:

 

  1.       Experiential activities. At each LIFE retreat, couples participate in experiential activities that are designed to be a hands-on teaching tool for understanding fundamental relationship principles. Couples discover what these experiential activities are when they get to the retreat so that they have the opportunity to truly experience something new together. These activities help give participants that “aha” moment when it comes to understanding what makes a marriage work.
  2.       One-on-one counseling sessions. Each couple will get a chance to work one-on-one with marriage coaches during the retreat. These marriage coaches are experienced, professional counselors who give spouses guidance on how to express their feelings about difficult issues. As both husbands and wives open up about how these issues are affecting them, they can learn how to listen and how to solve problems more effectively.
  3.      Free time. The free time couples have during a LIFE retreat is extremely vital to their relationship growth. It’s during this free time that they get a chance to spend quality time together—something most of the couples attending the retreat haven’t had. Whether it’s walking hand-in-hand on the beach or riding bikes in the mountains, it’s important for couples to do something fun and enjoyable together.

 

If you’ve been looking for couples retreats or marriage counseling Las Vegas offers, you’ve come to the right place. LIFE offers a one-of-a-kind marriage retreat program to couples experiencing relationship trauma. There is hope for finding healing in your marriage. Book a retreat today at any of our three locations by calling (877) 376-7127 or by visiting lifemarriageretreats.com.

3 Ways Couples Find Success at LIFE Marriage Retreats

Couples RetreatsFor some couples, it’s difficult to find couples retreats that actually help repair relationships and that reunite husbands and wives in love and harmony. Fortunately, that’s not the case with couples that attend LIFE marriage retreats.

If your marriage is on the brink of despair and destruction, you can find hope. Hundreds of other couples before you have saved their marriage through their commitment to their relationship and the remarkable support of LIFE Marriage Retreats in providing the environment, experiential training, and private counseling sessions that lead to the success they sought. The following three examples show specific ways you will find success at LIFE marriage retreats:

  1.       Couples set high relationship objectives. We work with couples before their Retreat to help them set realistic but lofty goals and objectives for what they want to achieve at the Retreat, both on a personal and relationship level.  It is our experience that couples truly committed to rebuilding their relationship find lasting positive change at the Retreat and find their way to the higher and happier ground they crave. Husbands and wives that want to resolve the issues of their past and develop a greater awareness of and love for each other, and that are striving for a warm and fulfilling emotional and physical intimacy rediscover those gifts at a LIFE retreat. We will help you to come with an open mind and heart and a willingness to achieve the relationship objectives you’ve set.
  2.       They embrace each component of the retreat. Couples who see the most success at LIFE retreats are the ones who put both feet in, so to speak, during the experiential activities, one-on-one counseling sessions, and small group sessions. Together, you and your spouse will embrace each element of the Retreat with a sense of hope and trust, knowing that LIFE Retreats provide these one-of-a-kind experiences knowing the positive effect they will have on you both as you truly engage yourselves.
  3.       They participate in the AfterCare program. Once couples leave the retreat, they are not left on their own to hope that everything they’ve learned will stick. The LIFE counselors they worked with will schedule follow-up phone or Skype sessions to check in, help you to remain accountable to your commitments and direction,  and offer additional support. If you are willing to participate in these after-care sessions and be accountable for the relationship goals they’ve set, they will undoubtedly see growth and happiness in their marriage.

LIFE couples retreats have helped hundreds of couples seeking hope for their marriages find success. If you’ve been looking for a marriage retreat that will help you and your spouse repair the damage in your relationship and find joy again, call now. You can book your retreat today by calling (877) 376-7127 or by visiting lifemarriageretreats.com.

3 Ways LIFE Marriage Retreats Differ from Traditional Marriage Counseling

3 Ways LIFE Marriage Retreats Differ from Traditional Marriage Counseling

marriage counseling san diego caWhen a couple whose marriage is on the rocks is seeking guidance, they often turn to marriage counseling. San Diego is a popular place for searching for such counseling because it’s a beautiful, relaxing place. However, couples who search for LIFE Marriage Retreats in San Diego often find more success. LIFE Marriage Retreats are different from marriage counseling sessions in the following ways:

1.       LIFE Marriage Retreats take you to locations that elicit a sense of peace and harmony.

Location matters for those seeking an environment of reconciliation and change. If there’s already tension in your relationship, would you prefer an austere and impersonal counseling office or a beautiful and peaceful beachfront?

The beautiful surroundings of an outdoor location become the backdrop for meaningful personal and relationship growth. San Diego is LIFE’s most popular Retreat in part because the beach and waves form the backdrop to the amazing Retreat experience.

2.       LIFE Marriage Retreats expedite the healing and growth process in relationships.

Experiential activities help couples experience and internalize (not just talk about) key principles and skills. These activities are designed to help each participant have “aha” moments where he or she finally grasps what the principle or skill really means and how it shows up in the relationship.

Couples work with LIFE counselors in extraordinarily effective private, one-on-one sessions that lead to resolution of issues and reestablishment of emotional connection.

LIFE retreats are also four enjoyable days that immerse couples in training and counseling in an environment where healing occurs, communication flourishes, and trust grows.

3.       LIFE Marriage Retreats offer the results you are seeking.

In a four-day retreat couples will experience:

  • The highest level of safe and meaningful communication ever experienced
  • A clarity of and respect for one another’s perspectives, leading to mutually satisfying solutions
  • A liberating sense of mutual accountability based not on blame or scorekeeping, but honesty and respect
  • From this strong foundation you will take your marriage to higher and happier ground

If you and your spouse are desperate for hope, consider attending a LIFE Marriage Retreat instead of marriage counseling. San Diego is waiting to welcome you with its sunny beaches and breezy climate. LIFE couple retreats really do provide the guidance and nourishment your relationship needs. For more information or to register, call (877) 376-7127 or visit lifemarriageretreats.com.