Entries by Gerry Dye

“All’s Well That ‘Begins’ Well”

From Biblical Proverbs to Shakespearean plays to common modern idioms we can find wise counsel that the outcome of any event is most dependent on how it starts. Even rappers know this truth–” You know where it ends yo, it usually depends on where you start!” (“What It’s Like;” Everlast)  A common mistake in marriages […]

Acceptance and Accountability

One of the key moments in any marriage struggling to get better comes when one partner or both begins to seriously consider a certain relationship conundrum or paradox. The paradox is this: To truly find joy in a relationship, we must feel accepted and offer our partner acceptance. Yet we are fallible humans who make […]

Love is a Rose

The song “Love is a Rose” by Neil Young has always been one of my favorites.  I mention it now because of a truth that it speaks to me.  The song begins, “Love is a rose, but you better not pick it.  It only grows when it’s on the vine.  Handful of thorns and you’ll […]

A Beautiful Paradox

How long did it take you to realize that your marriage or committed relationship was not going to entirely be a bed of roses? A few months? Or did the honeymoon phase last for a full year? The so-called honeymoon phase is a wonderful time for a couple and helps us create some cherished shared […]

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

I have shared with many of our couples a bit of what I call “fortune cookie wisdom”.  When I was first engaged to my wife I went through a period of doubt.  I repeatedly asked myself whether I would be happy with her or if she was right for me.  On one particular evening I was […]

What Do You Desire?

Dallin Oaks has said, “Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. Desires we act upon determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.” Many years ago I found myself at what felt like a dead-end in my life and relationships. My marriage was disconnected and mistrusting; my career felt […]

Pleasure, Happiness, and Joy

Martin Seligman, author of “Authentic Happiness,” describes Hedonics as the study of how we feel from moment to moment. Those called hedonists go to extremes actively seeking to experience as many “good” or pleasurable moments as possible while keeping “bad” or painful moments to a minimum. By definition the quality of a hedonistic life can […]